GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

So, those ladies out there who have done the whole lactation thing, let me get a witness... boobs come with a whole set of maladies when you're using them for good and not evil, am I right? Ruary just turned 7 months old last week, and I thought I had this pumping thing down, yo. And I do. But last night, I clogged up like the line for the Captain Eo ride in 1983. Par for the course, just takes a couple of pumping sessions to unclog, right? WRONG. This morning, I woke up feeling a little icky, and the icky turned to general malaise, and body aches, and fatigue. (sidebar... I love the word malaise, don't you? sounds much prettier than it should) By this evening, I was running a 100.7 fever. For me, someone who ROUTINELY measures 97.9 degrees (it's my normal, it's why I'm hardly ever cold), that's a goodly amount of fever. So I called my lady doctor center, who tried to page the on-call... no answer. An hour later, they tried another doctor, who flippantly told me to go to the ER if I was worried about it. IT'S MY BOOBS, OF COURSE IT'S A LITTLE IMPORTANT TO ME AND MY CHILD, WHOM I FEED FROM THESE FONTS OF GOODNESS!

So after my last pumping, off I go to the local ER. Now, I have never gone there for more than an x-ray, so I was apprehensive, but I am impressed. I got there at 10:15, and I was home by 11:15. The verdict: Mastitis, an infection of the milk ducts. NOT A SURPRISE... I had already self-diagnosed this very condition, which doctors love, but this doctor agreed with me! Thank you, doctor with a German name.

Mastitis is something that is VERY rare past the sixth week postpartum, but of course I can't follow such rules. If I did, I would be nursing my child like a normal milk-maker and not tied to the demon pump every 4-5 hours. Aha, but not for long... we're at the end of our stage 1 foods, and soon we will begin the odyssey into stage 2, which means only 24 ounces of milk a day as opposed to the nearly 36 he gets. That means less pumping! And eventually an unbroken 8 hours of sleep for me. And hopefully no more infections.

Do I know how to rock a Saturday night, or what?