Lament
I have said it before, I'll say it again. I can completely see how women choose to give up their career in order to raise their child. Here's to wishing we were independently wealthy and could afford for me to stay home.
I love my career. I was made to teach. I'm very good at it. I'm invested in my students and the school. I'm simply dreading going back to work for one reason only... I am worried that there will not be enough hours in the day to spend with Ruary. My day will consist of waking up, getting ready, getting the boy up and fed, and handing him off to Rick so he can either whisk the child away to Mom's (or equivalent babysitter) or be Mr. Mom (a possibility on Mondays, since Rick is thinking of taking a Tuesday-Saturday schedule in order to take the pressure off of Mom for one day a week). So I say goodbye to him at 7 am, get off work at 3:30, then race to get him by 4:00. Because I will not be able to stand being away from him. So, if his bedtime continues to be around 7:30-8, I get four or five hours with my boy, tops. That's if he doesn't take an evening nap (which sometimes happens). This amount of time is unacceptable. My heart is already breaking and it doesn't happen until August 25. This kid changes so much EVERY DAY. I turn around, only to turn back and find him standing up on his own. He wakes up from a nap, and a new consonant/vowel combination comes out of that perfect little mouth.
How do full-time working-outside-of-the-home Moms do this? How do they stand it? Because it's already killing me.
posted by K Schimmy at 3:34 PM
2 Comments:
I was speaking with a good teacher-friend about this today. It's tough, and I don't know that anything will make you feel better, but I'll sure as heck try (you always do for me!).
I took a child psychology course once, as a part of my failed bid to enter medical school, and I was amazed to find that there have been LOTS of scientific studies done on mothers who work vs. stay-at-home-moms. And the development of children with mothers who work absolutely exceeds that of children whose mothers stay at home. By going to work full time (which, as a teacher, many would argue that you have it one better than full time, since you get vacations, you are done by 4 pm, etc), you are giving Ruary a strong example of a strong woman. You are helping him to be more independent. You will help to teach him by example that there is satisfaction in work about which you are passionate. And finally, you will show him that you can love many things, be comitted to many things (work, family, friends), and still balance them all.
We made the decision that Charles would go into daycare at least part time LONG before he was born. When the time came for me to re-enter the workforce and earn some money for the family, it was very hard on me. Tony basically said, stop being selfish. I didn't want to stay home for Charles, I wanted to stay home for me. I know now that I will probably miss some amazing things that he learns and does in his life. But I also know that he is already an independent boy who enjoys spending time with people other than his mama and daddy. And that is peace of mind.
If you don't go back to the work you love, you could end up resenting Ruary (I know I would've resented Charles, had I not gone back). I guarantee that you will find time to have amazing experiences with him every day. And, you will always be his one and only mom.
9:01 PM
I like what Amelia said, I've read the same.
That being said, it does get easier, and you just make it work, and enjoy every single second of it. Hugs, Kel. I know when people were telling me this I was like "blah, blah, blah" I didn't think that anyone knew how I felt! Surely, I felt worse than any of the other moms before me.... He knows his Momma loves him.
8:23 PM
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