I think I might have also said "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE???"

Today, I lost it with my sixth period class.

This class is the class from hell... nothing I can't handle, really, but just ANNOYING in their immaturity. And they're all in one period, where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Meaning, when immature boy x is in the room with immature boy y, the immaturity is not just x+y, it is at least 2(x+y), I believe. Don't get me wrong... they each have their redeeming qualities, but while they are kind of nice on their own, they are a writhing mass of picking-on-each-other and fart noises. And there are only about five of them. BUT! In a class of 24, it means the world.

These boys pick on each other. Mostly quietly, but when they get to the point where they are literally picking on each other (taking each others' hats, punching in the arm, etc.), this is where it comes to my attention. And I stop it. But what I HATE is that they pick on one target-able freshman boy who desperately wants to be their friend. Once again, it is a quiet picking. Nothing I can go to the principal with. So I must rely upon what I can actually see/hear and deal with what is apparent. But today, I caught them.

This group has a problem focusing. And when I redirect a student back to their work, someone ALWAYS has to make a big deal of the fact that someone is "getting it from the teacher... OOOOOOOOO!!!!" So, so, so, so, so, so STUPID AND ANNOYING. Because they do it every time. But today, three boys made a HUGE deal that the aforementioned freshman was told to get back to work. They started cracking up, obviously because of that student's situation. I flipped out, because they were targeting someone. I YELLED AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS, "SHUT UP!!!" And because that caught everyone so off guard, I kept going. I proceeded to berate the entire class for allowing the harassment, that I was SICK of it happening and that the culture in that classroom was going to change or I was going to make sure that anyone who so much as barely snickered at another student was going to be suspended for AS LONG AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. And like I mentioned, I didn't just say it, I SCREAMED IT UNTIL I FELT HOARSE.

I have never done this before. I am just so very sick of bullying, this quiet undercurrent that makes it so students can never totally express their excitement about learning, that makes it that we talk about this freshman boy in staff meetings because we are afraid he may bring a gun to school someday to stop the harassment.

Because I am a good, reflective teacher, I went to my principal after school today to warn him about any parent phone calls he may receive (the word "jackasses!" may have entered my rant at some point). He and I see eye-to-eye on the harassment issue, since it is a building problem at our school lately... he let me know that a couple of my students were already on the radar about harassment of OTHER students, so that made me feel better. But the most chilling thing we talked about was this: He had recently spoken with a former administrator of his from Federal Way, WA, who is principal to a school with over 2000 students, where about 80 different languages are spoken. My principal asked him if they ever worry about such diversity leading to hate crimes, guns in the school, and eventually school shootings. My boss's former admin said, "No, because the school shootings don't happen here, they happen in the small, rural schools."

Wow, he's right.

I guess that it is a formula for disaster... small school, so your peer group never changes, you're stuck with them. And the harassment is more concentrated, because the opportunity is always there. Plus, guns are pretty readily available to our kids. Heck, some of them probably own their own weapons. And little schools don't have the resources to install metal detectors, or to close off our campus effectively.

I hate this. But it's time to go to the mattresses... I am now on a rampage. I have already started a personal campaign against the word "retarded" (which has replaced "gay", my former campaign... mmmmmkay, good, but why another word?). So I am now on the lookout for any. kind. of. harassment. Not just because I'm afraid of a school shooting (which I am of course), but because I refuse to teach in a culture of bullying. I'm sick of kids thinking that, because their mom or dad is an asshole, they can be an asshole, too. Rise above. Isn't that what education is all about?